Beating the Bogotá Blues

Fat-skinny Jesus will haunt your dreams.

There is something about Bogotá, with its endless rain, smog-choked air, and unrealistically crowded thoroughfares that can cause even the most gleeful gringo to dissolve into a lugubrious puddle of sadness and tears. I should know; I’ve been living here a while and have experienced becoming the aforementioned puddle more than just a few times.

The key to psychological survival in Bogotá is learning how to stay solidified or to regain your solidification after you’ve lost it.

Wow, that came out wrong.

But you know what I mean.

Anyway, after nine months in Colombia’s capital, I have figured out a few tricks for beating the Bogotá blues and, lucky for you, am willing to share.

1. Check out museums—After the initial “living in Bogotá” honeymoon period has expired and you are locked into the daily grind, it can be easy to forget that you are living in the Athens of South America. Bogotá boasts a wide variety of fascinating museums, many of them free to the public. Granted, there are only so many times you can check out Museo de Botero before you start having nightmares about fat-skinny Jesus, but nothing helps beat the blues like a healthy dose of Colombian art.

Beautiful view on top of the Monserrate.

2. Go to the top of the Monserrate—Although you likely rode the aerial tramway to the top of Cerro Monserrate when you first arrived in Bogotá, returning to take in the breathtaking view of the city can go a long way to curing gringo depression. I especially enjoy the contrast between the city on one side and the lush, green forest on the other. This high up, you are above the smog and able to breathe crisp, clean air, so pause for a moment to take it all in and remember how beautiful a place Colombia truly is.

The gods' nectar.

3. Get a Crepes & Waffles ice cream—Without Crepes & Waffles, few gringos would make it through their first three months in Bogotá. Although the food is great, the real reason to go is for dessert. It has been scientifically proven that a Crepes & Waffles ice cream can alter your chemical balance to induce a state of euphoria. Okay, maybe not but I’m sure they are close. My personal favorite is the Hot Chocolate Vanilla—three scoops of vanilla ice cream, almonds, whipped cream, and topped off with hot chocolate syrup. I think it’s intended for a family of five, but I polish off one of these babies every time I feel my morale fading. And boy does it do the trick.

Skyping with my dog, Gerico.

4. Skype with your dog—Seriously, it works. When I reach my lowest point and all I want to do is hop on the next plane home, a quick Skype session with my golden retriever back in California never fails to put a smile on my face. Sure, he has no idea that I am there and my parents have to goad him into sitting in front of the computer with a doggie biscuit, but just seeing his face makes me happy.  If you aren’t a dog person, I suppose a cat will suffice. If you aren’t an animal person, humans could work, too.

Climbing in Suesca.

5. Leave Bogotá—Sometimes nothing you can do in Bogotá will cheer you up and the only recourse is to peace out for a while. Luckily, there are plenty of towns within easy bussing distance of Bogotá that can give you a break from the big city. You can go rock climbing in Suesca, hiking in Villa de Leyva, or spend the weekend in Tierra Caliente. Even a day trip to the suburbs of Cota or Chia can give you a much-needed respite from the hectic city. With Colombia’s ample supply of festivo (holiday) weekends, it is not hard to plan a quick weekend getaway.

Good News/Bad News

Chile

I’ve got some good news and bad news.

First, the good news.

This Friday I will be taking a break from saving the world to spend a few weeks exploring it.

I’ll kick off my three-week gringo trek in and around Santiago, Chile. I’m still not 100% sure what’s gonna go down there, but I’ve had thoughts about checking out Valparaíso and Viña del Mar. Besides that, I am looking into going snow skiing (it’s winter there) and I couldn’t call myself a true Californian if I didn’t partake in some Chilean wine tasting while I’m there.

Peru

After a week in Chile, I will head to Cusco, Peru where I will spend a few days before embarking on a 4-day hike along the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu. If there’s one thing I love more than camping, it’s historical landmarks, so it will be great to combine the two. After Machu Picchu, I will fly to Lima, Peru for a few days. Word on the street is the food in Lima is the best in Latin America, so I will probably spend most of my time gorging myself on whatever it is Limans eat… hopefully it’s not too sour.

When I’m through with Peru, I will fly to San José, Costa Rica. Random, I know. But I have a good reason. Since I won’t be going home at all this year, I suggested that my family come down here to see me. So we decided on Costa Rica.

Speaking of going to Costa Rica, random chance averted certain disaster with my travel plans. Months ago, when I planned this trip, I looked online to check the vaccination requirements for each country. The page for Costa Rica said the only required vaccination was for yellow fever, but not if you were from the United States. I took this to mean that I didn’t need it.

Costa Rica

Yesterday, I was talking with a Colombian friend and she happened to bring up a story about someone she knew who tried to enter Costa Rica, but was denied entry because he didn’t have the yellow fever shot. Later, I went home and looked at the vaccination requirements for Costa Rica again and, lo and behold, saw that you need the yellow fever vaccination if you are coming from Colombia or Peru.

Luckily, today I was able go to a local Red Cross and get the vaccination promptly taken care of. Before you say anything, I know that Colombian clinics offer the yellow fever shot for free, but I didn’t wanted to deal with impossible lines, so I paid the lousy $50,000 pesos ($25 USD) for the shot.

At any rate, after a week in Costa Rica doing an assortment of touristy gringo things, I will head back to Bogotá, and the regular grind.

As for the bad news, this mainly falls on you—you are going to have find some other way to procrastinate at work for the next three weeks.

Something tells me you’ll live.

Gringo Origins

Gringos in their natural habitat.

Have you ever wondered where the word gringo originated?

I sure have.

After devoting no small measure of my considerable mental resources to solving what could possibly be one of the greatest mysteries of our time, I dug up a few interesting theories.

The Mexican-American War Theory

For those of you who never paid attention in history class, here’s what the Mexican-American War was in a nutshell: the United States asked [1] Mexico if it could borrow [2] some [3] of Mexico’s land so that some of its citizens [4] could have a place to live. After Mexico said, “No way, José!” and spilled American blood on American soil [5] the United States was pissed and had no choice but to borrow the land through force.

There are actually two digressing theories based on the Mexican-American War paradigm:

To be fair, we asked nicely first.

1. The Uniform Argument—Some say that the invading American troops wore green uniforms and the defending Mexican soldiers would yell “green-go” as to tell the U.S. troops to go home. Although this might seem logical, the United States Army did not adopt green uniforms until World War I. So basically, this argument stinks. Forget it.

2. The Immigrant Argument—During the war, several hundred recently immigrated Irish, German and other Catholic Americans were sent to fight against Mexico. Many of these immigrants came to question why they were fighting against a Catholic country for a protestant one and when combined with their growing resentment for mistreatment by their Anglo-Protestant officers, they deserted to join forces with Mexico, calling themselves St. Patrick’s Battalion. Proponents of this idea claim that the Irish soldiers frequently sang “Green Grows the Rushes, Oh!”, an old folk song. Mexican soldiers, after continuously hearing “Green Grow” reported back to their superiors that this might be what Americans called themselves.

Aristotle, the first Gringo?

The Greek Theory

Many scholars agree that gringo is a variant of griego, the Spanish word for Greek. Alternatively, it has also been argued that griego could be a variant of the Spanish Romani (pre-Castilian Spanish language spoken during Roman times) word peregringo, which means ‘wayfarer’ or ‘stranger.’

Further supporting this theory, in the 1840s, Swiss natural scientist Johann Jakon von Tschudi, while traveling through Peru, wrote: Gringo is a nickname applied to Europeans. It is probably derived from Griego (Greek). The Germans say of anything incomprehensible, "That sounds like Spanish,"--and in like manner the Spaniards say of anything they do not understand, "That is Greek."

Regardless of which theory is correct, it has been well-documented that the word gringo was first widely used by Mexican soldiers to disparage American troops during the Mexican-American War, suggesting that this conflict gave birth to the common usage of the word as a racial epithet towards those hailing from the United States.

Where else did Mexico expect us to build

Disneyland and Caesar's Palace?

Since the 19^th century, gringo has become a universal word in most Central and South American countries for referring to people from the United States (or any English-speaking country). Although the word is often meant to be derogative, it is also commonly used in a neutral or even affectionate manner in referring to foreigners of North American/European descent.

Well, there you have it, folks—the mystery is more or less solved.

If not, at least you have something cool to talk about at your next cocktail party.

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[1] demanded

[2] steal

[3] nearly half

[4] white, Anglo-Saxon, protestants

[5] land that Americans had ‘borrowed’ a few years earlier.