The Dogs of Santa Cruz

Lucas doing what he does best.

Lucas is a four-year old Labrador with short, yellow fur and a peculiar bump on the back of his head. His hobbies include sleeping, chasing tall gringos and more sleeping. Although he would never admit it, he is the luckiest dog in the world.

Why he is the luckiest dog in the world is simple—he lives at Santa Cruz. While most dogs can only dream about having multiple enormous lawns to run on and plenty of chickens to chase, this is an everyday reality for him.

Toby

Lucas lives at Santa Cruz with his best buddy, a raggedy-looking Snowser called Toby. Lucas would tell you that although Toby may look permanently pissed off, he is actually a good and loyal friend. While personal hygiene isn’t one of Toby’s strong points, he is a thinker and a ponderer, like the philosophers of old. One can only guess what deep and existential thoughts circulate through his mind as he sits looking out at the world.

Snaggy

If you were to enter Santa Cruz’s welcoming gates, you would find Lucas curled up in a ball sleeping somewhere on the grass. As you approached the derelict yellow lab, you would suspect him of being under the influence of a heavy sedative. When you attempted to pet the comatose Labrador blob, you would worry there was actually something seriously wrong. But fret not—Lucas doesn’t particularly care for gringos at first and he especially disdains being bothered while partaking in his favorite pastime.

In other words—it’s not you, it’s him.

Rufus

Lucas and Toby love to visit their buddies Rufus and Snaggy, who live across the street at a tienda. Lately, a large group of gringos have been frequenting the tienda, which Lucas is beginning to enjoy because of all the attention he receives from a particularly tall one.

Rufus is some kind of collie-mut mix—timid and shy, but eager for gringo affection. If you are in the market for fox tails and miscellaneous caught-in fur objects, he’s your dog.

Snaggy victimizing Toby

Snaggy’s real name is Donkey, but the gringos have nicknamed him Snaggy on account of a facial deformation that reveals a snagtooth. Although Snaggy is only six months old, he suffers from an extreme case of nymphomania, which poor old Toby knows only too well. Snaggy also enjoys munching on dead bird carcasses, which he proudly shows the gringos, much to their dismay.

When there is a full moon, the dogs of Santa Cruz go crazy. They wrestle each other in the dirt, playfully nipping and growling. Lucas, the ringleader and true to his Labrador heritage, fancies destroying household items easily draggable to the front yard. They laugh and play and bark in Spanish to one another. It’s a good life.

Me and Lucas

But the dogs of Santa Cruz would tell you the best part about being a dog in Colombia is that you get to keep your balls.

None of that pansy gringo neutering business here.